Denying Myself

Since when do I do this?

Not often. I just need to admit that I need to do this a lot more often. In so many ways.

I don't need all of the ice cream chocolate sundaes that I have found myself desiring in this city. Why? Not because it's a treat and calories (that's ridiculous), but because indulgence in something steals the celebration, as my team leader spoke so perfectly to me.

The Lord wants us to enjoy things, He loves to bless us - but I abuse that.

I was sitting at McDonald's the other day eating the fourth chocolate sundae I've allowed myself to have in this city and I realized the reason it's so darn good every time I have it is not because it's all that good in itself, but it's because I haven't run it in the ground. The Theory of Diminishing Returns is the only thing that I remember from economics in my freshman year in college. I found it so interesting. My professor used beer as the example which was beyond appropriate for his college audience, but also makes the point a bit more obviously than other examples might. Basically what he got around to saying is that yes beer number 1, and number 2 may be great for the one consuming, but you get to beer number 3 and things aren't all that "original", beer number 4 and so on just keep getting less entertaining because it's always the same thing...it no longer sparks our interest, and then if you keep going you eventually get to the beer that sets you over the limit and you get sick. Let's not try this at home, folks :). So as you go on, the return on consumption drops. What does this mean for me and ice cream or whatever other treat, not necessarily food - it can be anything, that I want? It means if I always get it whenever I want, over time it provides less than I expect it to. I'm not receiving full enjoyment from any of the treats I'm consuming, because as time goes on and my consumption increases, the returns are diminishing. Each one is providing less and less. This quite nicely proves the point that things cannot satisfy - only Jesus, but that's a whole different topic in itself. (Side note to all the economic peeps reading: sorry for butchering that theory, but just as the English kids out there forgiving my mistakes - please do the same.)

God created those little joys in life to provide enjoyment and celebration, not indulgence. But so often we blur that line. We tend to over-do the things we enjoy, which only leads to less and less returns on it. Sadly, this starts a vicious cycle of trying to make up for the last short-lived enjoyment by buying/consuming yet another and then another and then another and then another. And then we are only consumers. We are not people who celebrate or receive life from something...which would produce a natural turning and praising the Father for that goodness like He desires. But instead we become people who want and get...no time to turn and praise the Father in those cases...I'm too busy trying to get my fix again.

Last year during Lent, I gave up coffee. This was the first Lent I've ever partaken in, but at that time I felt the Lord calling me to deny myself from something...and He didn't mean chores...it was something that I enjoyed. It was hard, but I did it. And now after processing all of this dealing with celebration and indulgence, I realize why that first cappuccino after Lent was pretty much the tastiest I've ever consumed. Makes sense. Wow, the Lord is pretty complex...working all that out then and me learning this lesson here. Crazy.

This place, these people (speaking of my community) has really taught me what it means to celebrate and not indulge. It's beautiful. And there is so much more enjoyment in things. That's the way Jesus intended things to be. In denying myself, life changes from being about me trying to please myself, to enjoying the sweet, sweet things that the good Lord has graced our lives with and being beyond thankful for Him providing those things. It's so stinking awesome!

The Lord does seem to always put things upside down:
The first will be last, the last will be first.
Those who are humbled will be exalted, those who exalt themselves will be humbled.
Those who give their lives will receive it, those who hold to their lives will lose it.

Now He has taught me that in denying myself I will receive a much more grand return and in seeking to always indulge I will lose so much return. Funny.