Love journeys.

As I approach the final month of my time here, I'm already beginning to mourn the absence of these people in my life. It's something I don't really care to think about, but I'm down to 30-something days...time is passing quickly. A few days ago I started stressing. I felt like I would be leaving so much of myself here. Even though I haven't packed my bags to head home, I know that time is coming and it already feels like my heart is falling out of my chest. Yes, I'm a dramatic person, but this is for real. I feel a hollow spot in my chest when I think about leaving. It hurts. I have to hold on to the fact that Jesus gives us seasons. So yes, I will leave so much of my love here, but the truth is so much more love is going home with me. Just as the women of Sari Bari sew blankets, they have sewn love into my heart, the kids at Shishu Bahvan overwhelm my heart with so much joy at the sight of their smiling faces, and the family has provided more than just a roof and and food...they have been an anchor in this city and a picture of faith that I thought only truly existed in the Bible. So yes, I will feel as though my heart is staying here, but really it's going back filled to the brim. The sweet memories of this place and these people won't stay in India...that will forever be etched into my story. I will hold to that. This has been a season, but one of the most beautiful ones I've lived through. It's hurt in ways I can't explain, but it's blessed me in more ways that I could ever speak of. So as I prepare to leave during this last month, I will relish in the sweetness of each moment and hold to the fact that love will journey with me. There's no losing it.

Here's a short, short reflection on my time here and just my life in general that I journaled the other night...
"I realized tonight what great things, sorrows and blessings, the Lord has allowed me to see and experience. I've seen wounds created and healing grow up...in my own life, heart, and soul. I praise Him for that goodness. Now He has led me to India. I've learned an innumerable amount of lessons here, but primarily that of his never-ending grace and love. I've been blessed to see him redeem and create newness in the lives of the Sari Bari women...despite what ugly mess they have been dealt with in life. He does great things for all of His creation, collectively and individually. He provides healing...in America and India...for all those who pursue Him. I don't really have words to describe the magnitude in which He has changed me and my heart. But I speak truth when I say that He is the potter and I am the clay. Even when I'm not the best consistency to work with, He doesn't give up. He acts righteously at all times...and always with a purpose. It's beautiful. He's fashioning me to be a servant. He is continually opening my eyes to the world and it's brokenness, but showing me the good He does in the midst of that. He is giving me a desire to do His works, and providing a wholeness in my heart in that service. May I be ever-changing...to His likeness more and more. Steal all standstill, Lord."

Ephesians 2:22
And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

He does this. By grace, I've been deemed worthy to be a dwelling of the Holy Spirit...a servant. He's done this work in Kolkata through the people I've grown to love and be loved by...they've built me up in ways I can't explain. And I've also seen him do it through mending the gaping wounds this world has left me with. He is a faithful Creator.